It Is My Turn

So I have not written in awhile. I would make up excuses that I was busy with the kids and all but I have to be honest. I just didn't have anything to write about. Once my husband deployed my days got long and boring. I am not sure how all you women do it, I for one cannot sit on my ass and do nothing all day like so many of you can. I need a job.Oops I need to back track here. Back in September I was laid off from my contract job on post, such the life as a contractor boo hoo, I decided to take some time off and be a stay at home mom. I could do the cooking and cleaning thing I am great at it. With both of my kids and school it left all day to clean and get things done that are hard to when you have a full house and also would allow me to spend more quality time with the kids when they were home. It was great for the 1^st month. Then we found out my husband was picked up for an individual deployment. So we spent all of November getting ready for his departure. It was only for 6 months no problem it was going to be easy. And to be honest it was one of the easiest deployments that my husband and I have ever had. We got to talk every day the kids got to Skype with their dad almost every day. But I got bored at home. I don’t have any friends around here, so I was at home a lot with 2 kids. I had no help when I needed a break I was stuck. I slowly started to talk to other parents at both of my kids’ school and got a night here or there off, but I was always alone with no one to talk to. Don’t get me wrong I am not trying to complain. I love my kids more than anything, and asking people to watch my kids is very hard for me to do. I feel bad when I send them away. Plus when they went to their biological mothers house for holidays it was a wonderful break, but I would miss them even more. My house is boring without them. Even as I write this I am excited that my husband and I get to see them and spend all day Saturday with them. Back to the topic at hand, I got bored and could not clean my house any more then it was I decided to go back to the gym. It was great I was running and pushing myself harder then I have ever pushed myself before. Then I sprained my ankle and could not run for a month. I know I gave up to easy but I figure that someone didn’t think I should be running at that time. So back to being bored at home I started my search for a job again. I was trying anything and everything not just looking for contract jobs but everywhere. I found a job in February it was a great job as a warehouse manager. I loved it but they lied to me about the hours and being a deployment single mother I could not work for them any longer I lasted 3 weeks. I hated to say goodbye to that job but my kids come first. And it was affecting their life in a way I just could not handle. Well back to being home by myself all day I started the gym thing again and had family come and visit and I had started to make friends around the area (My new found friends will be another story for another day). And then I got a few contracting job offers. This is where the title comes in to play.

              It is my turn to deploy. I had an offer to go to Afghanistan back in March, which I could not take because of my kids. And then my husband came home in May. After some family vacation time and much needed family time, we sat down and talked about my leaving for a contract in Afghanistan. After talking to my 2 kids and deciding that it is best for our family right now. I got on the phone and took back the job they offered me several months ago. So here I am writing not to say that it is the wife’s turn to let the army man be a deployment dad. I am happy to do this for a few reasons. Most men do not know what their wives go through while they are away. And don’t tell me oh he knows I tell him all the time what it is like. Be honest with yourself he has never been in your shoes so he has no idea. This will also give my kids and husband some much needed bonding time without mom to intervene. This is something that I have always wanted to do sense I was in the Army and to have the chance at 27 to go to Afghanistan and work as a contractor for the government and experience the other side of the coin over there is going to be a great experience.  I know what I am getting into. Please understand I know that this is not going to be all roses and sweetness. But I am going to put on the happy face and drive forward.

I plan on writing about my experience while I wait for the day to leave comes and while I am there.  I have many friends who are there now or are heading there soon so I know I will not be alone. I just wanted to share this so that as I write people are not lost as to what is going on.

Why Herman Cain will not make it as a President

      Herman Cain is an idiot!! He will not make a great President. The whole Sexual Harassment scandal is annoying. Here is the way I see it. You don't pay people to keep your mouth shut if you didn't do something wrong. Now for all you people who support him and clam that people are doing this for the 15 minutes of fame.. Here is the way I see it.

       First thing First, Someone other then the victims Released the information about the Harassment charges. And if you watch more then one news channel you would hear that Herman Cain has blamed someone who worked on his 2004 campaign for the senate. He told said person about the sexual harassment allegations when he was running for senate. For fear that they were going to come out back then! Now he is all surprised when someone brought it out while he is running for president?? Get real guy!!

       This isn't about skin color either!! Your black great, who cares anymore. No one cares and those who care already did their thing to Obama. He is still fighting the "Birthers"! When you have a history Of sexually harassing people No one cares what color you are. If you were white you would be fighting the same battle! You can't Play the Race card every time something comes out about yourself that you didn't want to. Next you will be saying that you didn't win because you are black... Whatever dude!!

        For those of you who say that people are doing this for their 15 mins... Well we are in a tight spot here. I agree and Disagree with you on this one. Their is some truth to the 15 mins of fame, but he isn't innocent in this matter. There at least 2 women that Are currently no speaking.. Why? Well Because they took the money to keep their mouth shut!! Yeah That is right they stuck to their end of the deal. They got paid and now he is talking about it like they are the bad guys and you all are buying into it! Are you really that stupid? No you are not, but you are not getting the whole story. He talked about it, So now to clear their names.. one of the girls lawyer is asking that she be released from the "keep your mouth shut or we take the money back " deal so people can hear her side of the story. But unfortunately it is too late. Their are a few people that are coming out and you are right I think that they are just looking for their 15 mins. But don't pool all of the women in the same pool.

        Now here is the deal. I will not be voting for this loser. It isn't because he is Black... It isn't because he had charges put against him, I mean really No one is perfect. The reason he will not be getting my vote is because of his in ability to handle his business with class and dignity. And his in ability to stick behind what he says. Welcome to the world of Running for President. People are going to do anything to knock the others down to make them look good, it is how it is handle that will show you who someone really is. I don't know about you but I wouldn't want a whine guy running my country. He gets hit with some mud and starts crying about it and making it about everything else then what it is. It is a hey We know you have a scandal in your past. If you don't want people to bring it up and throw it in your face then maybe you shouldn't have done those things so long ago or just don't run for President.

         I am just saying. Plan for your future people. There is no time machine and so if you think you are going to run for President you may want to be a perfect angel your whole life and only let angels in your life, Because once you start that road there is turning back and fixing what you did!


* As a side note Please know that Sexual Harassment and Sexual Assault is NOT joke. As someone who has gone through it I don't take kindly to those who do take it as a joke. It is a hard thing to prove on the victims side and Often why it is Settled out of court. Think Twice Before you doubt someone. Because one day it could be you.*

FU Cancer

  FUCK YOU CANCER!!! That is what I say to it. For those who don’t know Cancer is no joke in my family. You would think we are in a competition of the family with the most people affected. When we think we are clear of it, someone else gets sick. Right Now my cousin is fighting the battle. In my family we say fuck you Cancer every time. We are fighters and winners. So I know that she will make it without a doubt in my mind. I want her to know that. I want her to believe it and not worry. I want to help her be strong. I am not asking for anyone to give anything but the times it takes to read this and about 5 minutes more.

  I want to tell you a little about my family. First off we are a huge family and we are close. We are each other’s friends on facebook; we chat and joke with each other on there. We fight with each other and have no problem telling someone where to shove it. When we get together it is a party that anyone around will hear about and no one will forget. We cheer each other on when someone is down, give reality checks when someone is acting a fool. GG (great grandma, but known as grandma to me and mom to others) is where it all comes together. If anything is happening ask her she has the 411, the DL, the dish, the news, the family gossip… ok she doesn’t gossip not about her family, the point is the GG is like the Don of our mob family (good news is she has yet to put a hit out on anyone). She knows what is going on in her family of warriors. Good or bad she supports every one of us and loves us all. We are a wonderful mix of everything from big to small, white to red skin, straight to gay, young to old, carnivore to vegetarian. You name it we have it in our family. You think I am making this up, don’t you? Well ask around you will be surprised. What I love most about my family is that everyone is welcome. You don’t have to be blood to become family. All we ask is for the same love and respect that we show you.

  I had to tell you about my family so you understand why I am writing this and asking for your support and time right now. We don’t ask people for much if anything. We believe in something, be it god and/or the great spirits. But I am asking you now to help me. My cousin has cancer in her lung. It is called Adenoid carcinoma. 90% of the people who get it get it from smoking. Lucky for my cousin she never smoked a day in her life. Unlucky for her she is that 10% that get it without smoking. (Good reason to quit smoking) The good news is that at this time the cancer has not spread and they think they got it early enough that they can get rid of it with surgery. Her surgery has been scheduled for August 23. Here is that hard part. She is scared as anyone would be. She is going to lose part of her lung to a cancer that should have just minded its own business and stayed away. With every surgery comes a risk of something worst. Now do I or anyone in my family believe that is will happen? NO. But I need you help to help my cousin believe and give my cousin the strength to hold her head high as she goes through this. Let her know that she is not alone in this world and that people love her and she is a beautiful person who just had a crappy day and that is it. From here on out nothing but sun shine!

  So could you please pass this to your friends and spread the word. Please go to light a candle (click here), and light a candle for her you don’t have to say anything or you can give her words for strength as I said it is only time that I am asking for it will take you less time than it took you to read this. If you would like you can post something on here. I promise I will get your words to her. She needs it from now until after her surgery. I will keep you up to date on how it goes.

  Thank you! And don't forget to say FU CANCER!!!!!



Why?

  *When I am sick this is what you get. Good luck*

  Why do women put such a high standard on ourselves and other women? While we hold men to a lower standard. Don't get me wrong men do it to but women are meaner about it. We get cattie, fake and downright mean. Looking through music videos on you tube today (I am sick, not trying to work hard at work today) every video that I seen one of two things could be said as true. They had really "good looking”, Ok who am I kidding, "HOT" chicks in them or men dressed as an ugly women. Everyone has standards, when I look in the mirror in the morning I see a hot chick that every women needs to watch her man around. I am not conceded I am confident. But at the same time there are women who will look at me and think a number of things about me. How do I know, because I think a number of things about other women. My friends are thankful for me sometimes and others not so much. I have a big mouth and tell you what I think. I mean come on I have a blog that I use to vent about anything and everything. It is a way to get out my feelings and what is on my mind so when it counts. I can keep my mouth shut. Like at your best friend’s wedding when you know they won't last.

  Anyways, in the videos, all the hot chicks look the same. Skinny, Little to no clothes on, perfect hair, OK lets be really they have everything that I wish I could have I mean look at the girls they have it in all the right places and not in the wrong. Who wouldn't want that? Like I said I am confident not conceded. I know that I could lose a few pounds and there are some things about myself that I could live without. I don’t let it stop me from thinking I am hot and attractive and deserve the best that is out there. I guess I get the guy playing the ugly chick in the videos, I mean come on what woman would want to play that. Not I, you already know what I want to be… The girl on the stripper pole!

  Wait I think I am getting off track here. Bear with me, as I said before I am sick, (getting better) still a little groggy in the head, my mind doesn’t wanna sat on topic. What I am getting at is that over the years the image of a woman has changed and when you don’t meet the standard image you tend to say things that are mean. I guess what I am getting at is how did we become this way? When did we become this way?

  We allow men to go places dirty and unkempt and don’t say anything. They gain weight we don’t mind it makes them even cuter. I know that not all of this goes for every woman. But there are girls out there that will.

  I am keeping this short today I just wanna know why? How have you caught yourself judging so harshly? Don’t say you don’t cause I will call you a big fat liar!!! And it will be true because everyone has hell I do. Am I trying to change that, kinda. It is second nature I don’t think I do. I am not gonna lie to you about it. I call it as I see it. And when you prove me wrong or there is poof to the other. I clam it. There are a couple of people who I have done it to and lost a close friend over. I am sure if they read this they can tell you all about it. It is not my place most of the time but like I said I don’t think I do. Right Now I am curious about what you have to say about it.

This video says it all Fake it 

Just Stop

  *BE WARNED THIS IS A RANT THAT IS NOT TO ANY ONE PERSON. SOME WHO READ THIS MAY GET UPSET AND DEFEND THEIR REASONING. THAT IS GREAT AND I WELCOME IT ALL JUST KNOW THIS IS A PERSONAL OPINION THAT IS NOT FOR JUST ANY ONE PERSON. THERE IS SWEARING...*

  I am tired of hearing the same old line from military wives. "We are broke." First get a fucking Job!!! Oh jobs are hard to find. Work at McDonald's! Second Stop having fucking Kids!! Don't like condoms or taking the pill, then get fixed!!  Third Stop spending Your Husbands money!!! You need shit around the house? well you don't need the new TV or Cloths you just bought.

  I am sorry I just had to get that out. There are women out there that all I here is "We are broke." Well I am sorry dear but you are married to a soldier. They don't make millions. I laugh at these women because while they are bitching they are making more mouths to feed on the same paycheck or going out and spending money that they don't have.  There are 3 reasons you are broke: You don't want to get a job, you keep making more babies, and/ or you spend all of your money on stuff you don't need. And I am going to break these down for you on why you are broke.

  1. You don't want to get a job. I am sure there are many wives out there that have one reason or another for not going out and getting a job. But most are bullshit. You don't have a job, because you don't want one plain and simple. You can find a job it may not be what you want but everyone starts at the bottom. Yes you don't have daycare for your kids. Kids falls under both job and making babies. Seeing as you already have the kids why don't you take the time and start a daycare or find another stay at home lazy military wife maybe she will watch your kids for cheap. My favorite one is I move all the time, no one will hire me. moving all the time for me has worked out great. Every job gave me that little extra for the next place where I find a better paying job. They will hire you just have to work at it. I feel for you to a point I get that jobs are hard to find. Every job I get I have to worry about not having a job in a couple of months. But life sucks, suck it up and drive on.

  2. You keep having kids. I have an idea. Plan a little better. Take the pill and have your husband wear a condom. Don't like or can't remember to do that OK then how about one of you get fixed. That way you don't have to worry about. I get that accidents happen but when they do, you need to plan that you just got one more mouth to feed and so you have to spend your money differently. And just because you have a kid or are pregnant does not mean that you can not have a job. Women do it all the time. Some even do it as a single mom with out a man to help them. So forgive me if I don't lend my shoulder out to you to cry on or that I don't just right you a check for what ever it is that you wish you could have. You chose to have the child. You need to support it.

  3. You spend money you don't have. You my dear don't have a job. So why are you going out shopping and buying that $100 dress? Or that $1000 TV? The $2000 couch when you old one still works? Really I want to know. You don't need it. If the old is working why did you spend money on a new one when you are BROKE. Remember you are the one bitching at me that you are broke and then going out and spending money that you don't have. SAVE your husbands money, remember you don't have a job so maybe just maybe you should think about the next thing you buy. Ask yourself: Do we really NEED it? Can I get it cheaper somewhere else? Just because you see it and want it does not mean you need it. I have wanted a new flat screen TV for a year now to replace the heavy box that we have now. I still don't have it. Why? We are waiting for it to go on sale and if we have the money when it is on sale we will get it. But we don't need it so we wait until the right time comes.

  My Fiancee and I have 2 kids that we send to daycare before and after school, we have 2 mortgages that we have to pay while we try and sell one house, and regular bills to pay. I still have money left over. Why? Because we save where we can, we live in the means of what we make. We still make time for fun things and nights out. And we each have a job. It wasn't always like this. We have lived just off of his income. And we didn't spend money when we didn't have to. I am big on buying on sale or on craigslist.com and thrift stores. We manage to furnish our whole house with everything we needed for under $3000. 3 complete bedrooms, a full kitchen and dining room, Living room, and 2 bathrooms. And if you seen my stuff you would think I bought it new. It isn't but either way I don't care. I don't try to keep up with the Jones I have better things to do.

  Do what you are going to do. I just had to get that out there and at least ask you to stop. Please let me know what you think. If I am wrong on what I have said I would love to hear why. I am open to understanding you train of thought.

Last night

  We have finally found a place to call our own. All of our stuff is moved in and now the unpacking has begun. here is the thing. I love moving. It is fun to stay some place for a little while and make new friends. Seeing what a town has to offer and then finding another place and trying your had there. The part that I do not like is that packing and unpacking. Man does that suck. So I have been kinda putting it off. But you wanna know why. Well it is because I don't have Internet or TV. I need 15 -30 mins of down time after work. If I don't get it I don't feel motivated. I am strange I know, but that is me. So I have been slacking a little this week. I have my dishes put away. Thank goodness I don't have my kids here.

  So last night I took a bum day, from anything moving. As I said before I don't have Internet or TV right now so I located my DVD player and watched a movie. Yesterday my fiancee and I it seems were in a Flesh eater mood. I say Flesh eater and not Zombie because they were originally George Romero movies, and if you know a little about him you will know that he thought of his creatures as Flesh eater and not Zombies. Now that my rant is done sorry about that, what was I saying again. Oh Yes.

  First we watched "Night of the Living Dead" the original. I have never seen that movie before. I have seen the remake. I must say I liked the original. It was a great b movie. It had everything it needed to make it a cult classic. It was great how Zombies got their start in the world of horror movies. Everything was so simple. there was not a lot of blood and guts. The black and white lay out of the movie really made it. At least it did for me. Yes there was some horrible acting in the movie but For the time frame the movie was made in it was a head of its time. My favorite line in the movie was "They are coming to get you Barbra." It was funny and great how it started out with a joke of how the dead were going to come and get her. That in the end they did.

  Second movie was "The Crazies" The re-make. I love that movie. I seen it when it can out and I just think it is great. I would love to see the original just so that I may compare how Breck Eisner interpreted George Romero's Movie. The Crazies is a movie that could happen and that is what really gives you the scare that you get. The what is going on? Why is it happening? Would the government really do that? The Flesh Eaters in the movie are not the really monsters in my mind, The government is. I was watching the extras on the movie and agreed with a couple people they interviewed that said that the Crazies is a movie that will be remade a few times just updated for the time. It fits in to any time frame. It did when it came out in 1973.

  For those of you who know me, know that I love horror movies. I am in to all kinds. I look for a different one every time I can. I really like ones that no one has heard of and always looking for something new and different so if you know of any please let me know. In the most recent year I have really gotten into Zombie and Flesh Eaters. I have been reading a lot of books, on it my Current author I like for a Zombie book is Joe Mckinney. Here are a couple of his Books if you get a minute I think they are great reads. Dead City, Flesh Eaters, and Apocalypse of the Dead. It has been interesting to learn how the Zombie stories got started, where the originated, and read how different people view them.

  I am interested on how you view them. Let me know.

Always on the move.

 As I sit at my desk writing this I am excited to say I made a new friend. It is someone who is moving to the area. As a soldiers wife, girl friend, or Fiance we are always on the move. Which means that I am only in a place long enough to make friends but not to have as a close friend. Well maybe I am saying this wrong. The words are hard to put together. I make friends all over the place. But when you move from one place to another it can be a little hard at first. I have to first get my family settled. Once that happens I have to then start to work on finding places to meet people. I am a picky person which also makes finding new friends difficult.
 When I say I am a picky person, it is hard to say to what level. I love meeting new people. I do not judge a book by its cover. I believe in giving everyone a chance. I am picky is a sense of where I find friends and the friends I keep. I am not an all chatty person. I try not to bitch and moan about my life too much I know everyone needs an outlet. But What I don't get is why the world always has to be falling apart for some people. And those are the ones I tend to stay away from. With that being said it seems that when I move from base to base, post to post I find that most of the women that I run into act as if that world is falling apart.
 I am a positive person. I try to find the good out of everything. Every time I move I look for the bright side of the rainbow. I have made life long friends at the places I have been and I get to see the world. I have 2 smart and wonderful kids who may not be my in blood but are mine in heart. I have a man who will do anything to make me laugh and keep me happy and knows that I would never ask for anything against his morals.
 Always being on the move keeps me active and on my toes. It opens new doors that have created a life for me that not may people get to live and enjoy. I have found that for me to be successful in my life I had to be willing to go outside of my comfort zone. With Every move I make I have had great success in both my career and in my life. I could not ask for more when it comes down to it. OK I guess I could ask to be more stable in my job and to have a better idea of what is coming next. But to be honest right now I am having fun with the undecided and unknown part of life. I have a plan, kinda like a dream, but I keep an open mind about it and know that when it is all said and done, I will be where I want to be when the time comes.
 I am young and still have a lot of life left in me. As an Army spouse we have to keep an open mind. If you close it you might miss the best part of living. If not today then when?

"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being an Army Spouse isn't for everyone.

It is hard to explain how this works. It seems to me there are 2 types of women that marry Army men. They either support their husbands to the end of the world or they are bat shit crazy. There is no real middle ground. I support my fiance and his career every step of the way. I may not like everything that we have to do for the Army, but at the end of the day I have to know and understand that it was something he chose to do for both himself and for our family.

The army isn't out to get us and they don't just sit around trying to figure out how to screw us over. I guess I can say that the army has been good to us. I know it has not been great for everyone. But for those who keep finding some way to bitch about how they hate the army and how it keeps them away form their husband and family. I am not that person. Yes I dislike that I am not by my family and when my fiance was deployed it was difficult. But he is doing something for me and my family that so many people are scared to do. He is also willing to give his life not only for me but for you and yours. It is a life choice. No one told him that he had to do any of this. It is one of the few great thing about being American. You have a choice with everything you do and a Government that will not force you otherwise.

I am opinionated and out spoken and sometimes really blunt. I hurt peoples feelings and often offend people. All I ask is Please have a thick skin when reading my blogs. I have a right to my opinion as do you and when commenting on anything I write on here know that I am open minded and love conversation. I like to know how others feel so that I may be able to understand another side better. Also know that I have never done this before and wanted to try it out.

This is my blog about being a veteran of the Army and my journey as an Army Wife, a government Contractor, a step mother and life in general. I have named myself Barefoot in the Army because that is the way I like to be and my way of living life in the Army.